Fatten The Calf Father... The Prodigal's Here

I'm going home.. finally.
*yay!*

Ummm, actually, I don't know if I really feel the 'yay' factor.

All this while I've been whining about how I can't wait to go home... and now that the day is just around the corner, I'm scared as hell!

I've changed. But they've changed too! Though we've kept the telephone lines and cyberspace alive with artificial cheer, it's just not the same. So many faces I'll look for but never see again... so many new ones I've never seen before... half the time I forget the real headcount of the clan.

Oh, I kinda like my darling brood of pseudo-sophisticates. But trying to keep pace with their capricious expectations is not worth the effort!

I don't remember when my love-band lost it's elasticity. Sometime during one of those sonorous monologues from my aunts recounting every catty detail of the latest 'cheriya' problem? Or perhaps while listening to the exalted Ettans and Chechis convince me that I have a long way to go before climbing UP to their level :D Insecurity does come in various forms innit? Ah well, it doesn't cost me a dime to insert the appropriate "Uh huh" "yeah, you're right" and "Mmmm" during expectant skype pauses. I've gotten pretty good at that.
But P.S. I don't do ladders dahlings. Why do you think god invented escalators hmmmm? :|

Oof! I'm whining again :D
It's not completely bad. After all, I'll get to see my dad, my grampie, and Jols, Moni, Chech and my little D-girl - who's not so little now!!! :D Dang! How dare you grow up!

I'm scared. I'm relieved. I'm going crazy! Can't wait to get this over with. And I can't WAIT to get back... because somehow... without me realising it, this has become 'Home' now.

Sigh!

Anyway... on a totally diferent tangent... Here's a piece of advice y'all.
Don't hand over soda to friends sitting in front of you in the car.
I nearly died of Burp overdose. It was SO ewwwkkkk!!
TMI no? :D Deal with it.
;)

Psssst.... Yes you only!
If you're still reading my gibberish.... a BIG BEAR HUG to you!

XOXOXO
Macadamia The Nut

Us

It was dark when she opened her eyes. Slowly. They widened as she realized where she was. Her face was wet. With her tears and worse... No! She didn’t want to think about that!! She crawled out of the closet and stumbled to the bathroom shaking with rage and shame.

I was waiting for her there.

She looked at me with bruised eyes and I could only stare at the signs of horror inflicted on her.

Words were not needed.

Her eyes filled up and so did mine.

“Are you ok?”

She nodded, dazed, and bent down to wash her bloodied face.

“You knew there would be a consequence didn’t you?” I asked as she leaned back and looked at me with the terror of the memory still in her eyes.

“Yes”, she whispered “but not like this. God, not this!!!”

“Why didn‘t you do anything? How could you let this happen to us?” I was crying now, sick with guilt and anxiety.

“It’s all my fault.. everything... ”, she whispered

“No! It’s not! You don’t deserve this!!” I shouted. I wanted to reach over and hug her, but I stood still instead, knowing that if I touched her we would have to confront a truth neither of us were ready for.

“What are we going to do now?” I asked urgently.

"I don’t know… I cant.. I can’t..”

“You must tell them!!”

“No!! Promise me you wont say anything either! Promise me! Forget about today! Pretend. We used to do that before.. ”

I shook my head. She was right. “I’m here for you! You know that, right?”

Her features distorted as another ripple of realization spread through her “Yes.. I know” she whispered, “You’re the only one who is.”

“What now?” I couldn’t decide. I was aching all over. My head hurt to even think of what lay ahead.

I don’t know she whispered.. I don’t know… Oh God, no!! It was a dream right? Only a dream.”

“Yes it was! Nothing happened!! We need to believe that.”

“I want to go home... I’m ready now.”

I couldn’t help it. I reached for her even as she raised her arm… and our fingers met against the cold silver glass.

Reinforcing grim reality.

For The Love Of Jols!!!

I'm writing this under extreme duress.
:|

My sister Jols has threatened to expose my dirty secrets to public if she visits my blog ONE more time and doesn't see a new post! Talk about stabbing in the back... HMMMPFFFFHHHH!!!!

But girl, if you tell them about the picnic I'll blab about you and THE game and if you tell them about the P-war I'll rant about how you hang your underwear on trees to scare away the monkeys.
:| OOPS!! DID I JUST SAY THAT??????
:D Muhahahahahahahaaaa!

So anyway, here's your new post Jols... and I'm already wondering how to end it and run back to my assignments. I'm getting pretty anal about school lately - don't ask me why 'coz I haven't a clue!!

Speaking of which... you've heard of the saying 'face is the index of the mind', haven't you?
Well here's the Macadamiaized version - The Desktop Is The Index Of The Mindless
:| I was just hunting for the word doc you sent me and I realised that it was lost... somewhere in my stupid desktop of all places!!! GAH!!!! But I'm gonna find it and post it in a day or two! Wicked Whispers' first guest post ;)

And that's when I did my second double take of the day - my desktop (and everything else) is ONE BIG MESS! Exactly the way I feel :D I mean, hey, that's my whole social life you see out there babe!! Look what fun I have... dinner with the vectors, lunch with font reconstruction, party with Adobe and hell... I'm even sleeping with Typefaces!! How promiscuous of me! Happy Valentines Day Macadamia!! (looser!)

And that's not all! The last time I checked I had about a hunderd 'New Folders' scattered over the width and breadth of Mac's Mac (I've been dying to use that expression for AGES! Heh heh).
Anyway... not important... I tend to ramble once I get started. :D

So... hope you are happy Jolnah my girl!

P.S. For those who still bother to visit my blog ... HI!! *hug!!* :D Long time no see... and I'm SO sorry I haven't been around lately! :(
Hopefully that should change soon!! I miss interacting with you..... :(

XOXOXO
Macadamia