I read this annoying book – about afterlife and souls. About death and letting go.
Ugh! It said that unless we learn to let go, unless we stop crying for the ‘dear departed’ and unless we stop clinging to what remains their souls will never find peace.
What a cartload of rubbish! Who believes in things like that anymore? No?
But what if? What if it’s true?
Returning home has always meant coming back to you. Of going into your room when dad’s at the club, opening that locked up cupboard and inhaling the fragrance of your perfume, only to guiltily lock it again and run up lest dad finds out.
This time was different though. The book disturbed me. What if… Do you think I have I locked myself up in a restrictive, obsessive, dark space?
I’ve always looked upon the ‘homecoming’ with a mixture of trepidation and excitement. But it’s not the same anymore. Maybe it’s only I who have changed. Maybe memories are meant to be just that – memories. Revisiting them and trying to force-fit the same feelings into a has-been vacuum just doesn’t work.
So, that’s why I gave away your things. That’s why I didn’t come to you with complaints this time. And .. that’s why I’m letting you go.
Because I love you THAT much.
